Ain't That a Kick In the Head?
by LetThereBeHail
Summary: Tamaki buys a game from a sketchy guy and everyone ends up trapped, having to follow the rules and find a way out. But will they all make it out? After all, you die in the game you die in real life. Fallout Vegas AU


"Have you heard? There's this new game from America that they're going to sell here, it's called Fallout." A visitor of Tamaki's stated.

"Hm, sounds interesting." Tamaki said in his signature smooth voice, that alone making the girl swoon for some reason.

At the end of the Host Club meetings, Tamaki looked at Haruhi.

"What is this commoner game everyone is talking about?" He asked.

"It's not really a commoner game, video games are actually pretty expensive." Haruhi replied.

"I want to try it, it sounds like fun." Tamaki snapped his fingers.

"Since when are you interested in video games?" The Hitachiin twins asked in perfect unison.

"Since today." Tamaki smiled proudly.

"What makes you suddenly want to try them? And why is it this game?" The twins inquired.

"Because, my dear sons, it's for the plot!" Tamaki winked.

Later that Day

"LOOK WHAT I GOT GUYS!" Tamaki announced when he entered the music room again. He was waving a copy of Fallout: New Vegas. "I bought it from a homeless man for really cheap." He looked at Haruhi. He felt sad when he saw she wasn't looking. She was too busy pretending to sweep.

"We're all going to check it out together. Right now." He put it in the game system.

"Since when do we have a game system?" The twins looked at each other and shrugged.

"Try not to get too crazy, please. We just cleaned." Kyoya sighed.

"I think it will be fun!" Honey exclaimed. Mori stared.

The game started up and Tamaki immediately started squealing when he hit the new game option. "Isn't this exciting? We're all playing together like a family! Come on mama, all we're missing is you." Kyoya backed even farther away.

Suddenly the screen turned black and the game let out a loud, screeching noise. It didn't stop.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Haruhi screamed, covering her ears.

"TURN IT OFF!" Kaoru screamed.

"IT HURTS!" Hikaru added.

Mori destroyed the game system by ripping it out of the wall and smashing it down on the floor. The screaming stopped.

"Well. I guess we know to never try commoner games again." Tamaki got up.

"Again, not really a commoner game." Haruhi sighed.

"Well, I'm going home now." Tamaki went to the door.

"But you just got here." The twins said with no emotion.

"Yeah but daddy is tired now." Tamaki opened the door and screamed at what he saw.

Everyone ran over and looked and screamed as well. Besides Kyoya, he screamed internally.

What they saw was a barren wasteland full of dirt and destroyed plants, some shacks in the distance, and some giant lizards. Also, were those mountains in the distance?

"What the hell?!" Haruhi's eyes widened.

Tamaki slammed the door shut then opened it again. The same setting was still there.

"What is this?" He asked. Suddenly one of the giant lizards spotted them and stood up and ran straight toward them. It hissed and Tamaki slammed the door shut yet again. It banged and clawed at the door.

"BARRICADE THE DOOR!" He hissed. Everyone, except Kyoya, moved couches to the door. Kyoya stood there in shock, trying to remember if he took drugs again.

Suddenly there was the sound of a gunshot and a thud.

"HIT THE DECK!" Everyone jumped on the floor as gunshots busted through the doors. An axe finished whatever was the left of the doors and three guys in big black jackets and brandishing machine guns stepped in over the couches.

"Well, well. Look what we got here." One of them smirked.

"Who are you?" Tamaki pointed at them. "What is this place?"

"You're in the Mojave wasteland." Another guy spat. "You all look clean. What the hell kinda set up do you have here?" He looked around.

"What kind of set up do you have?" Hikaru replied.

"Yeah, you all look and smell like you haven't bathed in years." Kaoru waved his hand in the air.

The men all pointed their guns at him.

"Say that again." One of them growled.

"Or else what? You'll shoot me over a dumb comment like that?" Kaoru looked to his brother who looked extremely worried and mortified.

"Yeah, let's not push it Kaoru, we're not bulletproof." He warned.

One of the men pulled back the hammer of their gun.

"Oh." Kaoru's eyes widened. Hikaru stood in front of him.

"Stop being so overprotective of me, if I'm going to get shot, let me get shot!" Kaoru whined.

"Don't worry, we have plenty of bullets for both." A man giggled. Suddenly all three were knocked unconscious. Honey, Mori, and Tamaki stood behind them.

"That was a great plan you guys came up with on the spot, distract them so we can get them." Tamaki did a thumbs up.

"Yeah... We were distracting them." The twins looked at each other.

"I think we should take everything they have." Kyoya suggested.

"Good idea." Tamaki took their guns, Honey took their backpacks, and the twins searched their pockets. The axe was left on the floor because it sucks.

"Ow!" Kaoru yanked his hand out of a pocket to reveal a weird needle stuck in his finger. "What is this?"

Hikaru snatched it and inspected it. "Says stimpack." He read.

"Oh, those are supposed to heal you. You're good." Tamaki explained. Everyone looked at him. "I might have done research..." He shrugged.

"Let's find a safe place before we sift through all this." Haruhi changed the subject. "Who here can handle a gun the best?"

Everyone looked at Kyoya. Kyoya pulled out a handheld mirror and looked into it. "Obviously me." He adjusted his glasses to look badass.

Tamaki handed him one of the guns. He gave another to Mori and kept the other to himself. When no one was looking, Tamaki also picked up the axe.

"Off we go!" He pointed outside. They took about five steps into the wasteland. "It's so hot." Tamaki cried.

"The place we came from is gone..." Haruhi pointed behind them. It was true, all they saw behind them was the stupid Grand Canyon.

"What happened to the unconscious men?" The twins asked.

"They're in hell where they belong." Tamaki muttered.

They followed a road for a good hour before coming across a small campsite with five shacks. One shack was huge and the rest were small.

"Woah there. I wouldn't recommend going farther than this." A man with a hard hat and a sledgehammer stopped them. "Past here is deathclaw valley."

"What's a deathclaw?" The twins asked.

"You don't want to know. I reckon you're new here."

"Yeah." Haruhi nodded. "Can we please stay the night here?" She asked.

"Of course, we're always open to travelers." The man led them to one of the small shacks. Inside was four beds and two lockers and two chests. "Make yourselves at home. Dinner is in another hour." He left.

"Now let's sift through all the loot we got." Tamaki emptied the contents of one of the bags on the floor. A big ass minigun fell out, a huge mini nuke launcher plopped on top, and a missile launcher landed on top of that. Five missiles came out after, ten small nukes came out, and ten huge packs of 5mm ammo fell as well. The second backpack had several different types of grenades, mines, and some more guns with loads of ammo. The third backpack was literally just full of bottle caps. Some stimpacks and cans of purified water were in the mix though. "Right off the bat, we're good on defense and currency." Tamaki whistled.

Honey snored. He fell asleep. Mori sat at the edge of his bed staring.

"We'll take the top bunk." The twins said.

"I'll have this one." Haruhi pointed to the bottom bunk of the second set of bunk beds.

"Looks like mommy and daddy are sharing a bed." Tamaki smiled. Kyoya cringed.

"Alright, everyone take the weapon you want." Tamaki announced. "Honey gets whatever is left."

Kaoru grabbed a pistol and a sniper. It had a strap which he used to sling it over his back. He opened one of the chests and found a holster, putting it on and sliding the pistol in. He also found a combat knife in the chest but didn't tell anyone. He slid it under his sleeve with another strap so he could slide it out quickly if need be.

Hikaru grabbed a shotgun and a pistol. Haruhi took the bag of explosives and the fatman and missile launcher. Tamaki got the three machine guns from the thugs and had them all sling over his shoulders. Kyoya got the backpack of caps and meds. He picked up an AK-47 and a hunting rifle. All that was left was the minigun and another pistol. Mori took the pistol and put the minigun and ammo in the last backpack and gently placed it next to Honey.

"So, our next course of action?" Haruhi asked.

"We need to find a big city. Someplace with an extremely smart guy who can create impossible things." Tamaki replied. "Every game has that one character who makes something outrageous that's extremely convenient to the protagonist and helps them."

"How would you know that? Did you play other games before?" The twins asked.

"That's not important!" Tamaki snapped.

"Okay, what's the biggest city?" Kyoya raised a brow.

"I'll ask during dinner."

"New Vegas. It's all the way across the valley, though. You could go around deathclaw valley but it would be a three-day walk." The nice man from before explained.

"Thanks."

The next day they were given a map and sent on their way.

"We're going to die." The twins groaned.

"Not if we work together! Nothing can stop the host club!" Tamaki yelled loudly, raising a fist. A roar sounded in the distance and a gigantic dinosaur looking creature started running toward them.

"EXCEPT THAT!" Everyone ran like hell. Haruhi dropped a mine behind her as they ran and the creature exploded.

"That, my friends, was a deathclaw." Tamaki panted.

"Good job, boss." The twins rolled their eyes.

"Look, you can see New Vegas from here!" Honey pointed to some tall buildings and signs in the far distance.

"If you keep staring at it while we walk it'll feel like we're just getting farther and farther." Kyoya loaded his hunting rifle and got it ready to shoot. "There's bound to be creatures out there so brace yourselves."

Kaoru nodded and tried to pull his sniper out but he struggled with the strap. Hikaru stared straight into the barrel of his shotgun, trying to figure it out. Honey wanted to pull out the minigun but Mori told him no. Haruhi pulled out a grenade. Tamaki just loaded a machine gun.

"And, we're ready!" Tamaki began walking again, studying the path on the map.

"It's going to be a long journey." Haruhi sighed.

Day 1

"Guys, look, we reached our first milestone! A place called Primm." Tamaki pointed to the hotel proudly.

"Oh, I know this place! I've seen it on TV a lot of times!" Honey said cheerfully.

"No you didn't, this is a video game and everything is fake." Tamaki shook his head.

"I thought you said you did research? A lot of the locations here are based on real places." Kyoya crossed his arms.

"How would you know that?" The twins asked.

"LET'S GO EXPLORE." Tamaki quickly ran to the hotel. As he did so, something flew right by the side of his head and landed on the ground behind him.

"A tomahawk." Kyoya inspected the object.

"Let's not explore." Tamaki turned around and walked in the opposite direction.

"YOU'RE LUCKY WE DON'T SNIPE YOU!" Some angry voice yelled from the Primm hotel.

"Well WE HAVE A SNIPER TOO!" Tamaki yelled back. A bullet hit the floor by his feet. He screamed, turned white, and stumbled back, almost fainting. Kyoya sighed.

While everyone else tried to figure out what to do, Haruhi looked around and saw a bridge nearby. A sign was in front of the bridge that read "NCR." She made her way over and crossed the bridge, seeing a bunch of tents set up all over a big campsite. Several people dressed in beige uniforms walked around, NCR on the shirts and hats. There was a guard post on her far left that had two people with snipers, both watching her friends and laughing.

"Excuse me." Haruhi asked the nearest NCR soldier. "What's the deal with that hotel?"

"It was taken over by gang runners. If you and your friends can manage to take it back for us, we'll give you five hundred caps, some supplies, and safety." The soldier replied.

"Why can't you do it yourself?"

"I have to stay here and watch." The NCR soldier said.

"But... There's plenty of people here..."

"Are you going to do it or not?"

"Fine."

"Take your stupid tomahawk back!" Tamaki yelled and threw it. An array of bullets was shot at them and they all ran to cover screaming "DAMN IT TAMAKI!" Haruhi saw and rolled her eyes before calling them over. They quickly ran to her.

"They said if we take back the hotel they'll give us some pretty useful things." Haruhi told them.

"How in the hell are we going to do that?" Tamaki scolded her.

"Well, I have a missile launcher. If we could get them all gathered together I could take them all out at once." Haruhi shrugged.

"We'll do it!" Kaoru volunteered. Hikaru gawked at him.

"Okay, what about the inside?" Tamaki asked.

"We'll just have to use firepower, you guys go in guns blazing and I'll throw grenades and plant mines." Haruhi replied.

"Okay... We'll do it." Tamaki closed his eyes. "I don't know why, but we're doing this."

"This is it. This is when we die." Hikaru whispered.

"And... one... two... three. Plan is a go!" Haruhi called out.

The twins ran toward the guys guarding the entrance.

"We have questions!" They yelled. Several guys crowded in front of them. There were still two others at different corners of their campsite, watching them with their guns up. Easy take down, Honey can take them on.

"Why are we not shooting these guys?" A guy crossed his arms.

"Something about a plot." Another guy answered him.

"What are you guys?" Kaoru asked, hoping the others wouldn't listen to him.

"None of 'ur fuckin' business." A shirtless guy pulled out a knife. "I'll skin you alive." He got closer.

"And then what? You'll wear it?" Kaoru crossed his arms. Hikaru stood there frozen in fear. He was terrified for his brother.

"Ha, I actually like this guy. What about that idiot of a brother, what's his problem?" Another guy wearing only shorts pointed to Hikaru. A guy shoved him with the tip of their shotgun.

"He's funny too, he just doesn't appreciate the weapons pointed at him." Kaoru responded, trying his best to remain calm and collected. He noticed Haruhi getting into position so he grabbed Hikaru's hand and pulled him back quickly.

At that moment, a missile flew in and hit the whole crowd. The blast caused Kaoru and Hikaru to stumble back and slam against the doors of the hotel.

They both got up with only a few cuts and scrapes. Haha inaccuracy. The other two guys were taken down by Honey, as predicted.

"Inside we go." Haruhi breathed, stepping inside.

Tamaki used his machine gun to plow down the three guys at the entrance.

Honey karate kicked a guy armed with a crowbar and took him down, taking his crowbar from him. Another guy tried to sneak up from behind but Honey turned quickly and hit them repeatedly with it. "I'm getting such a thrill from this!" He laughed.

"Okay Honey, no more for you." Mori picked him up and ripped the crowbar from his hands. He threw it aside.

Haruhi threw a grenade in the big room that remained unchecked. After the explosion, the twins ran in to look around. A survivor from the blast grabbed Kaoru from behind and threw him against the wall. "Thankfully Hikaru didn't see this." Kaoru thought as he let his knife slide out his sleeve and stab the attacker in the stomach. The attacker dropped dead.

"I think we won, guys." Haruhi put her hands on her hips.

"Good job! We did it. All thanks to Haruhi's idea, I'm so proud!" Tamaki hugged Haruhi close as tears streamed down his face.

After looting the whole place, everyone turned to leave but a deep, voice yelled suddenly; "NOT SO FAST."

They turned and saw a guy wearing a hockey mask and holding a flamethrower.

"I'll get him." Kaoru whispered before running off.

"Nice." Tamaki pulled out his machine gun and shot at the guy but he ran like Sonic the fucking Hedge Hog and dodged all the bullets.

Haruhi threw a grenade but he ran to her and grabbed her by the arm, yanking her forward and toward the grenade. Tamaki jumped and protected her as the grenade exploded. Some wood and debris landed on them but nothing too serious.

Honey squirmed from Mori's grasp and ran up to the guy, matching his speed. They fought hand to hand for a good five minutes before the guy activated his flamethrower. Honey was engulfed in flames. He screamed and rolled all over the floor and Kyoya grabbed a can of water and dumped it on him. Honey panted, skin red and clothes torched. Mori threw him over his shoulder and ran out of the room. Hikaru pulled his shotgun out and ran toward the guy, about to shoot but suddenly the guy's head busted open and he dropped dead. Kaoru was on the balcony above them.

"Hell yeah! Lucky shot!" He jumped down and put the sniper back behind his back.

"We need to hurry and get out of here." Haruhi pushed Tamaki away and ran outside. Everyone followed. The NCR was herded outside.

"Good job!" A soldier gave Haruhi a bag of caps and supplies.

"He needs medical attention!" Mori yelled.

"Right this way." An NCR Nurse led them to her tent.

"So, is there anything we should be aware of up ahead?" Tamaki showed a soldier his map and the trail.

"There's going to be a lot of geckos and some cazadors. Trust me, you do not want to get stung by a cazador. Here's some cures, take it as another reward for what you've done." The soldier handed him five bottles, which Tamaki quickly passed off to Kyoya. Haruhi gave him the caps and supplies too.

"I hope Honey is okay." The twins suddenly said.

"Me too." Tamaki looked down.

"You all had a long day, why don't you stay the night in one of our tents?" An NCR soldier offered.

"Sure." Tamaki said.

"Time sure flies by in a video game." The twins looked at the sunset.

After being shown the tent they'd be staying in, Mori joined them.

"How is he?" Tamaki asked quietly.

"He'll be okay. His left eye is gone and he has bad burns on his arms and legs. It's all covered and bandaged though and he should be completely healed, eye included, in three days if he's given a stimpack injection once a day." Mori replied.

Everyone breathed in relief. Except Kyoya, he breathed in relief internally.

Haruhi put the backpack down by the cot and removed the top coat of her uniform and tied the sleeves around her waist then lied down on the cot. "I hope we all live to escape this game." She said before falling asleep.

The twins nodded and fell asleep with each other. Mori left to be with Honey.

"Do you think we're all just going through a severe high right now? Maybe someone put drugs in the vents at the school and-"

"Tamaki, shut up." Kyoya replied. He lied down. "Although as stupid as it sounds, it would make more sense than what's actually happening." He closed his eyes. He then went to sleep with his glasses on. It's like they're glued to his face and indestructible.

"Yeah." Tamaki fell asleep sitting up.


End file.
